Discernment Counseling for Those Who Are Thinking About Divorce. Divorce is not a thing to play around with. If you are at the crossroads of whether to go for divorce or save your marriage, then discernment counseling is what you need to try first. Although it is often associated with marital therapy, discernment counseling has a rather disparate concept.
It is worth noting that the process of filing for divorce with the help of a court or a family attorney takes more time, thus the couple still has some time to think everything over. But even when applying divorce docs to the best online divorce service you cannot hope for such a long delay. The plus is that when you have made a final decision for divorce there will be no hesitation in getting and filling legal divorce forms. Once you file, the divorce process will start in no time.
Can It Be Helpful for You?
Discernment counseling usually makes sense for couples, in which one partner wants to lean in, while the other is willing to lean out.
What Is the Aim of Discernment Counseling? This course aims to help couples not to rebuild their marriage but to develop clarity and confidence in deciding on the next step of their relationship. To put it short, it does not solve the problem but shows whether taking a second chance is worth a try. There are three possible outcomes after counseling:
- You get divorced;
- You go for a 6-month trial to “try again” with the help of a marital therapist;
- You just move on with your marriage, trying to fix little disagreements on your own.
How It Differs from Traditional Marriage Therapy?
Discernment counseling is short-term, it only takes less than 5 sessions, whereas marital therapy can drag on for a month or even years. The couples attend the sessions together, but the specialist holds separate conversations with each spouse. What is more, at the end of each session the partners are asked whether they need extra meetings or they have arrived at a decision.
Couples counseling demands two partners to feel as though they want to repair their broken relationship. While in the discernment counseling situation you get one partner having sufficient motivation to work on the relationship, while the other being ambivalent and hopeless.
The focus of the couple’s therapy course is to identify and eliminate your vulnerabilities within your relationships, explore the origins of problematic behavior. Discernment counseling does not intervene in your inner relationships but works primarily with each spouse individually.
With marriage therapy, you may expect some improvement throughout therapy. As mentioned before, there is no expectation of positive change between the partners. Of course, a certain change is possible, however, this is not what the course pursuits.
Outcome. The results of couple’s therapy are that both partners feel determined and ready to start from a blank sheet of paper after realizing and deleting their mistakes. With the second option, a couple is only expected to make a common decision on whether continuing a marriage is worth an effort.
The Benefits of discernment Counseling
During the course, your counselor will help you receive some answers that you weren’t able to arrive on your own. In particular, it will cause you to realize the underlying problem of your divorce. You will explore possible outcomes of different scenarios that might come to life, understand how your children participate in your future lives and what is their fate in these scenarios.
Also, we can never hear constructive feedback on our behavioral pattern and how it affects our relationship with the world. In that case, the counselor will describe your interaction pattern and show your roles in them. As a result, the couple will be inclined to try the third path and attempt to rejuvenate their marriage. However, remember that this is just one way to help – no one will take responsibility for your life and your decision.
Discernment counseling has a huge number of advantages, which outweigh the disadvantages. Speaking matter effectively, such an approach to resolving your issue is believed to be more efficient, as you will not torture yourself with doubts when being at the couple’s therapist’s cabinet.